No Nonsense List of Gifts Mom Will Actually Love this Mother’s Day

This Mother’s Day is special for me. Not only because I myself became a mother for the first time 6 months ago, but because I have a brand new appreciation for my own Mom.

And not only because I understand all her love and sacrifices much better now when I am experiencing this all-consuming love myself, but because this angel of a woman left everything behind, put her own life on hold yet again and moved in to help with the baby for all these months, making it all so much easier on both me and my husband.

I can't even imagine how I would have done this without her, after C-section, with my first photography assignment a few weeks after giving birth, with my irrational fear of daycare (or is this separation anxiety?). Indubitably, moms are amazing.

As many of us, I am getting ready for May 12 trying to think of something special for the most important lady in my life. And also secretly anticipating my own very first day of appreciation. Finally, after 6 months of sleepless nights and spit-up. Every time I see a list of gifts for Mother’s Day in my newsfeed, I open it hoping there will be something wonderful I didn’t yet think of. Or something I can share with husband as an eloquent hint.

As for many of you, it’s been disappointment on top of disappointment. A sleep mask? A nipple cream and dry shampoo?? A baby lounger? That’s not even FOR a mom. I can get all this myself, thank-you-very-much. It got quite tiresome, seeing all these never-ending lists of must-haves that no one ever wanted, so I decided to make my own list. Help me enhance it by sharing your ideas and desires.

1.    Spa Day. Moms get tired. Moms continuously put everyone else first. A spa day, or at least a professional massage/pedicure is the best way to show her how much you care. Some of the great local venues for this are Woodhouse Day Spa in Rochester Hills and Beach House Day Spa in Birmingham. Please add the places you love in the comments.

2.    Membership to a yoga studio, or any other sports venue of her choice. Those are expensive, but many offer discounted options for Mother’s Day. For example, Explore Yoga studio in Troy. Even if your Mom is not very athletic, she could appreciate relaxing yin yoga or yoga nidra (a rejuvenating yogic sleep).

3.    Photo session. What do all moms have in common? They love us and to make memories with us. Snapping photos with a phone is fun and easy, but why not give her a photo session by a professional photographer for a change? The quality, the uplifting experience, the service is unmatched and will make her social media rave for days, while allowing her to decorate the house with art that features you, the best kind of art.

4.    Cooked meal delivery service. Life is busy. There is so much one needs to accomplish in one day, especially when you are a mom. Hours spent in the kitchen are one of the most vital yet one of the most under-appreciated tasks. Treat mom to a subscription to cooked healthy meals for a month. She’ll love this welcome break.

5.    Gift card to TJMaxx, Amazon, or another favorite store of hers. This is so simple, yet very valuable. I learned how valuable gift cards are at my baby shower. A few friends who gave us gift cards hit the spot, because I was able to buy exactly what we needed as soon as the need arose. I still remember what each friend’s card brought us. The. Best. Gift.

6.    Robot vacuum. Self-explanatory. Make her life easier.

7.    Dinner or brunch at the fanciest of her favorite restaurants. This can also be a beautiful addition to any of the gifts listed above.

Please feel free to add in the comments what you would love to receive as a gift this Mother’s Day. Let’s make an ultimate list.

Boudoir Photography How To

Boudoir photography is not only a great Valentine’s or anniversary gift; it is also a perfect treat yourself session or a self-esteem boost. If you are attracted to the idea, but keep hesitating due to anxiety or shyness, I feel you. It is natural to feel tense doing something outside of our comfort zone. Virtually every boudoir client I had went through the same feelings sequence: shy in the beginning - at ease during the process - proud afterwards - and smitten with the results. Sounds worth a try, doesn’t it?

Let me address some of your concerns by answering most frequently asked questions.

Q: My body is not perfect, is boudoir right for me? If I do this, how do I make sure my flaws are hidden?

We all have something we dislike about ourselves. Even most beautiful models I worked with had their own “ugly duckling” issues. Well, guess what? You are the only one who sees you every single minute of every single day, and are so used to yourself that you forget there is no one in the world exactly like you, and that people around tend to see only the best and most interesting side of you.

There is no such thing as perfect size, shape or age for boudoir photography. This experience is a form of self-love and self-acceptance, the same way a bubble bath with a book/movie and wine/ice cream can be. With the only difference that it will make you feel truly good about yourself!

If you still feel strongly about something specific you want to hide, don’t hesitate to share it with me, so I can find the most flattering pose and angles for you. I will also make sure to take care of everything during post-processing. As a woman, I do understand these issues quite well. My main priority is to make you love yourself in these images, and cherish them for years as you would a piece of art. Or have someone love and cherish them for you ;)  

Q: What do I do with my face? What if I simply don’t have Scarlett Johansson’s bedroom eyes?

 A: The hottest things to capture in photos are confidence and your unique candid smile. So start the session by being completely yourself: smile if you feel like it, be moody if you feel like it, or even give me a nervous look if that is how you feel. In fact, do get it out of your system, give me all your anxiety. :) We will go from there, and soon you will be laughing about something we are discussing, or feeling sexy, and we will get the perfect shots we need without you even realizing it. You can never go wrong with being yourself in a photoshoot!

Another way to ease yourself into the session is to turn your head away from the camera at first. Just sit or lie down, stroke your arm or leg, and slowly stretch in different poses. Channel your inner cat. Focus on yourself, your comfort and your breathing. It’s all about you. That way you can start ignoring the camera and act naturally, which makes stunning images.

Q: How do I strike a pose if I’ve never done it before?

A: You don’t need to worry about posing, that’s what I am here for. We can discuss all the details in advance over the phone, and I will give you tips depending on what kind of images you are looking for. During your session I will guide you from start to finish, from where to look to relaxing your fingers. We will work through a variety of poses that you might have chosen, as well as poses that I know will look gorgeous on you. All you need to do is trust me, breathe and enjoy your wondrous sensual self.

Q: Is a makeup artist or a hair stylist included?

 A: Yes, it’s a complimentary optional add-on!

If you prefer to DIY your look, I recommend going with the look you usually wear to events and are most comfortable with. Or choose a natural look (a bit of blush, mascara and natural lipstick). Together with clean slightly tamed bed hair it can make some of the most romantic and hot boudoir photography. Here are some easy tips for a perfect bed hair from Bridal Musings.

Q: What should I wear?

Apart from standard lingerie or nude, it can be a man's shirt, any plain T-shirt, a bathrobe, small pajamas, or anything sheer. You can have high heels on or be barefoot. The most important thing is to make sure your movements are comfortable and you feel good in the outfit or lack of it.

If you prefer something brand new (i.e. you are a shopaholic like me) and want an advice on lingerie shopping, get a negligee – few people have them handy, yet they help create some of the most sensual and feminine looks.

Q: What is the best location for boudoir session?

A: The perfect option is a studio. If you are feeling too anxious, your home can also work well if it has enough daylight. Fabrics and bedding should be solid color, without patterns, so the focus is on you.

Outdoors boudoir is another possible option. You will want to choose an early morning time on weekends, when parks, beaches and other public locations are empty, and have a friend assist you with changing. Bonus for early morning sessions: beautiful golden hour light. 

Q: Isn’t it awkward to pose nude or semi-nude for a stranger?

A: Not if a stranger is an artist! Remember all those classical paintings with those chill-looking models? Imagine being a muse and an inspiration like them. Because on the day of your session you are the muse and the most important person to your photographer.

Besides, we won't be strangers for long. :) Before we begin, you can have some champagne or wine, put on your favorite music, and we’ll have a little chat while I am setting up and adjusting the light or you are getting your makeup and hair done. Practice shows that my models relax within the first few shots. In 5 minutes it will feel completely natural, like chatting with a best friend while trying clothes on in a mall.

Q: Will my photos be shared online?

A: Never without your permission! If you prefer to keep them confidential, that is how they will remain. And even if you are OK with them being posted, you will be in control of which ones can be shared.

Got more questions or ready to book your session? Shoot me an email: ellena@ellenaphoto.com

Things to do when working with a hired photographer

Sometimes we do everything right, we do the research, ask for referrals and we hire a professional, yet the end result turns out to be not what we imagined or wanted. To help you avoid this problem, here is the list of things to do and keep in mind when working with a creative professional, your hired photographer.

Before the photo session

1. Agreement. Sign the photographer's agreement. It protects not only photographer, but also you, your time, investment and the result product. So for example, if the photographer becomes ill on the day of your event, they offer you a backup solution at no additional cost.

2. Processing. Discuss the style of the photoshoot. Many photographers can work in several styles, like reportage, portrait, editorial (posed, artistic images), and many use both color and black and white options, so if you don't specify what exactly you want to see in the end, the artist will do what the artist is inspired to do. Also specify if you do not want the photos retouched or if, vice versa, you need someone retouched in all of them. A photographer might not see the flaw where you see it. For example, one of my colleagues had a client who considered a birth mark on her cheek a serious defect, while photographer found it beautiful and left it untouched. The girl only needed to mention that she wants it deleted in all the photos. People rarely see our flaws the way we see them.

3. Payment. Make sure that you are clear about what end product you want (images, prints, albums), the payment and what is included. There shouldn't be any hidden extra costs for the end product. Most of the times there will be a booking fee to reserve your photographer's time. This is a necessary measure, as your photographer is declining all the other clients who wanted to hire him/her on your day.

4. People. If the photo session has multiple people, let the photographer know whom you definitely need in the shots. Some people are not fans of being photographed, so they might try to hide away if you don't tell them what you want. A photographer is not a paparazzi, so he/she won't chase them. His/her priority will be you and anyone else you point out.

During the photo session

1. Guests. Make sure your guests know that you hired a photographer and they need to let the pro do the job. If they want to snap your event, they need to do it after he/she has finished shooting (the best way to make sure is to ask).

2. Directions. Follow your photographer's directions, not your family and friends calling you to turn here or there. You'll be much more satisfied with the images if you do.

3. Time. Value the photographer's time. It's a job, just like any other, so if your event doesn't start on time or if you are not ready by the time you agreed to start on, it will be counted as work hours, as the photographer allocated the time for you that other people might have been interested in.

4. Fun. Don't be shy and have fun. Remember, you are the star of this day, and you are the most favorite person for your photographer this day. Enjoy yourself, feel yourself, show your best self to the camera. Trust me, it loves you. ;)

After the photo session

1. Patience. Give the photographer time. Processing multiple images is a time-consuming work, and could easily take a day or several days, depending on the amount. Considering that your photographer probably has more photoshoots lined up in between processing, he/she probably won't process all the images in one or two days, so this could take from one to three weeks, depending on their schedule.

2. Priority. Remember that a good photographer is first an artist, and only after that a business person. Her/his main goal is to create beautiful images that make you happy. Be polite. Even if you are unhappy with something, try to first communicate your concerns politely, don't act like at a southern grocery market. My bet is the photographer will do everything they can to make you satisfied.

3. Appreciation. If you are happy with the images, credit the photographer when sharing them on social media. They've put their heart into this, spent nights lovingly editing and composing for you, appreciate it. If you want to say something nice to them, say it in the reviews, that will be the best thank you. This might be your family photographer for years to come, and maybe even a new friend.

Hope this list helps both photographers and clients have a more enjoyable and happy photo experience. If you have any more tips to add, leave them in the comments, or send them to ellena@ellenaphoto.com